1. Notes: 3 / 3 years ago 

   Sorry, I have to vent….

   Why is it that court systems enjoy wasting your time? I am trying to finalize my divorce, I mean hell it’s only been 15 months since officially filed.  Today I had to take twelve hours off to sit in a court room for less than ten minutes just to inform the judge that we are still waiting on a bankruptcy because she won’t pay her half of it, and I am contesting custody.  That was it.  I took twelve hours off for that?  Then to top it off I don’t get a custody hearing until April.  Do they not understand that my boys are in an unstable environment?

   Maybe I am overreacting or something.  Maybe I am being too critical of the mother of my boys.  Let’s look at this rationally.  She moved out 18 months ago.  In 18 months she has had 9 different residences.  Quick math….ok she has averaged 2 months per residence.  Well lest see they didn’t consider 5 moves in 8 months to be unstable so why change opinions now.

   My oldest is going to be six in a couple months.  He started kindergarten this year.  He had been to head start or preschool which ever you want to call it, but he was so excited to be starting this year.  In one semester he had been enrolled in three different schools.  THREE!!!  This was all by the end of October.  Quick math again….that’s too hard, let’s just say 3 schools in two months.

   Kids get into the damndest of things.  I realize it can be hard to totally child proof a house.  However, pick my boys up on one of my weekends and as we are driving down home I see my son playing with a shotgun shell and two rifle shells.  I wouldn’t be so concerned about this except for the fact that they were still live rounds.  He is sitting there hitting them together.  Now I have guns in my house and I have nothing against guns in the house, but mine are under lock and key in a gun cabinet.  How can you be so irresponsible to let your kids get into ammunition?  Does he have access to the guns that use these bullets as well?  What the fuck?

   I am so glad that their mother has the kid’s best interest in hand.  All the stress of a divorce on the kids not being able to see me as much as they want because she made sure to move as far away as she possible could.  Three hours away from their home and their life as they knew it.  Then to make it easier on them she had another guy living with them in less than a month.  Too bad that guy didn’t make enough money or give her enough attention because she left him to move in with a different guy.  Must have been a good move because she was engaged in a couple months.  It was just too bad that didn’t work out because she fucking her daughters dad.  So they were living together up until she dropped him to live with someone else.  This had to be the one.  Again, engaged in a couple months.  He was great for her no job was able to stay home and watch the kids.  Then one night during many of his drunken states he came home and beat the shit of her.  I had to admit there was a moment of pleasure there until I found out he did it in front of my kids.  If only she cared about my boys as much as she cares about her sex life.

   So now I wait another three months to contest custody because for now the wonderful court system and Friend of the Court feels that my boys are being taken care of appropriately.  I just hope when all is said and done at this hearing I don’t end up in jail myself for contempt of court because I will have very strong words for anyone that thinks my boys are in a safe and secure home.  As soon as they realize that just because they gave birth to them doesn’t make them the best choice things would be a lot better off.  Don’t get me wrong I am not a total father’s rights person; I just want what’s best for the children involved. 

   I had my vent, and I must say I feel better now.  Thank you all for your time and listening. 

2. Notes: 1 / 3 years ago 

   Love…How can one word have such a life changing affect on someone?  No matter where you look every dictionary tells you it cannot really be defined or that it has many meanings depending on the emotion behind it.  Can I define it? I could tell you what if feels like for me, but more importantly I look at how it changes me.  Sure I have love for my family such as my parents and sister, but that is something that is expected so to say.  Next comes children, there is no greater love than them.  However the love of the person you spend your life with.  That is a special love that you choose.  This is the only one that has such an impact on you that you get to decide for yourself. 

   I am confident in saying I found the love of my life.  I can say this because I have been impacted in ways I would have never imagined.  My days are dependent upon her as far as if I will have a good day or a day of concern and worry.  To have feelings of hurt and sadness only because she is feeling the same.  My life has become structured around this person, it revolves around her.  She is my motivation, my reason to keep going.  To believe that without this amazing person my life will be unfulfilled.  So can I define love, no, but I can say there is no greater feeling in the world. 

3. Notes: 2 / 3 years ago 

   I am at a loss for what to say.  I have drafted two different angles today.  I had a long sweet and sappy writing telling of the one I love, and then I went to the other aspect of how I just want something in my life to work out.  That seems a bit contradictive there I know.  How much I love someone and yet wanting something to work out.  It’s complicated to say the least the relationship I am in.  Let’s just say 3000 miles and few loose ends have been more than a bit frustrating.  Even so I love her with all my heart and will be here waiting for our day to come whenever that may be. 

   I also just got off the phone with my boss who I think is becoming very clear on the fact that I am not here at his beck and call every second of every day whether I am at work or not.  My fear is that I try to do this tactfully and carefully so I don’t end up telling him to fuck off and lose my job because of petty shit.  I have spent 8 years working at this place busting my ass and pushing to advance the company and hopefully myself.  The company has made some great advances. They have a creditable reputation now and place I would like to say I am proud to work for.  I however, am facing the reality that there will never be a place for advancement here.  My dreams and hopes becoming faded by the growing disappointment I embrace.

   No longer will I put all the extra hours in free of charge.  No longer will I do the jobs of other supervisors.  No longer will allow them to dump the load on me knowing it will be done.  I am hoping that my lack of extra work will prove to them how much work I really did.  Somehow I feel it will just go unappreciated.  Such is life though.  Day after day doing what you can to be unappreciated.  At least that’s how it’s feeling today.

4. Notes: 1 / 3 years ago 

   If you only knew how often these calls happen

5. Notes: 1 / 3 years ago 

   I do like this song Dropkick Murphys HELL YEA!!

6. Notes: 1 / 3 years ago 

   WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!! Heat wave for the next week temps in the mid to upper 30’s.

7. 3 years ago 

   Why am I subjecting myself to sitting here watching the tryouts for American Idol? 

8. 3 years ago 

   What to do in times of boredom

   I face a dilemma here I think.  I am at work and have been here for 11 hours now and I haven’t done a thing.  Granted it is a good thing but I am bored out of my mind.  If I wasn’t bored I would be dealing with a sick, hurt, or dying patient.  I don’t wish anything bad on anyone so what do I do now…

9. Notes: 1 / 3 years ago 

   I think my cats on crack he wont stop bouncing off the walls.  He will just stand there and all of sudden jump straight up for no reason. 

10. Notes: 1 / 3 years ago 
    "

    If you have it [Love], you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.

    Sir James M. Barrie

    "

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